Couples who use “We” are in happier relationships, study reveals


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We all know couples who, when they get into a relationship, seem like they've essentially become the same person.

They become inseparable, start to talk the same way and the language they use to describe themselves changes.

One thing people do is stop saying 'I' and begin to constantly refer to themselves as 'we'.

For example, if you ask an individual their plans and they say "oh we're busy that day" it can seem unnecessary – not to mention annoying.

But it turns out that this rather irksome habit is actually the sign of a rock solid relationship, according to a new study.

Research from the University of California Riverside reveals pairs who use the 'we' pronoun are often in "happier and healthier" relationships.

Researchers combed through 30 previous studies involving 5,300 participants in relationships, to compare the behaviour of couples who use "we-talk" and those who don't.

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The team analysed couples in five areas: relationship outcomes, relationship behaviours, mental health, physical health, and health behaviours.

They found using words like 'we' and 'us' regularly to be a sign of "interdependence" and "general positivity" in romantic relationships.

University of California psychologist Megan Robbins said using these pronouns could change how you view your relationship.

"Hearing yourself or a partner say these words could shift individuals' ways of thinking to be more interdependent, which could lead to a healthier relationship," she said.

Is it the secret to a happy relationship?

Interdependence may not sound like an entirely positive attribute, but it's been linked to healthy behaviours like providing support and shared decision-making – which are really important in long-term relationships.

Researchers are looking at whether it's a chicken-egg scenario – does simply saying 'we' more make relationships happier? Or do people in happy relationships say 'we; more often?

"It could also be the case that because the relationship is healthy and interdependent, the partners are being supportive and use we-talk," Robbins added.

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The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Evewoman.co.ke

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