Most everyone knows what it’s like to fail at romance, even the multifaceted J. Lo. You really need to take a moment to listen to Jennifer Lopez discussing her past relationships, especially if you’re in need of some great romance advice. In a new profile for Harper’s Bazaar published on Wednesday, Lopez became extremely candid about why she and her former significant others were unsuccessful in love. Believe it or not, but the Second Act star admitted she’s partly to blame, and all because the 49-year-old had a hard time loving herself.
"For me, the relationship journey has been very up and down," she admitted. As anyone whose followed the World of Dance judge’s career, you’re well aware that Lopez has been with many famous faces, including Ben Affleck, Diddy, Casper Smart, and Marc Anthony, who she officially divorced in 2011.
When it came to splitting with significant others, Lopez admits that the fact that she wasn’t practicing self-love became a huge issue. She told Harper’s Bazaar,
"But it didn’t have to do with anybody else but me — it was about me figuring out me. Until you learn to love yourself, you can’t completely love [someone else] in a way that is pure and true. Once you do that, you can have relationships that are based on love and respect, that are supportive and nourishing. There’s an evolution there that had to happen for me."
In April 2016, Lopez even revealed she recognized pretty much right away that she shouldn’t have married Anthony. As W magazine’s cover star at the time, the singer said (via Us Weekly), "I hung in there for seven years. I knew very quickly that it wasn’t the right thing."
However, the same can’t be said for Lopez’s current relationship with Alex Rodriguez. "I feel like I’m in a better place now," she told Harper’s Bazaar about how she feels about herself and the ability to be in a successful relationship.
The Good Trouble and The Fosters executive producer continued,
"I’ve got two amazing kids and a great boyfriend. I don’t have everything figured out, and everything isn’t perfect. But I feel very proud that with all the things I’ve gone through in my personal life, I’m still optimistic and hopeful."
Not only is it inspiring to see how Lopez continues to fight for romance in her life, but also the fact that she wants to be in love. It can be extremely discouraging when you repeatedly fail at relationships, and for anyone who feels that way, just take notes from the former Shades of Blue star. Once self-love becomes part of your life, you’ll most likely find someone to love you as much as you love yourself.
This isn’t the first time Lopez has talked about loving herself. During the release of her book, True Love, in 2014, the author chatted with Today about how she’s felt constantly let down by the fairy tale women are told at a young age.
"I feel like, when we’re kids, you’re sold into this fairy tale of what love is," she said. "That Prince Charming’s gonna come along and save you and you’re gonna live happily ever after."
After her divorce from Anthony, Lopez eventually discovered that "true love" was what she was missing from inside herself. From that moment on, she worked on loving herself and look at her now as both an individual and as Rodriguez’s partner.
If anyone should take anything away from Lopez, it’s to remember to take care of yourself and make sure you are happy inside and out. Practicing self-love can be difficult, and something many struggle with throughout their lives, but as long as you work on loving yourself, that’s all that matters.